The Self-Care Tip No One Talks About
Written by Stephanie Rose, Founder
Tired of self-care tips that don’t actually hit the spot? Discover how the world drains you as an empath and learn how to ‘feel on purpose’ in a way that a day at the spa never could.
In this article
Learn the power of noticing what you feel
How to use the power of your feelings as a form of self-care
What to keep in mind as you begin your journey
How you can feel confident pursuing a life you love
Recently I was reading the October, 2024 issue of Better Homes & Gardens magazine (this alone is shocking that I read it while it was in the same month) and in the Editor’s Letter, Stephen Orr snagged my attention about Halloween.
And made the unlikely connection with self-care.
The Fear Drain
I am not one for scary anything. My empath nervous system simply can’t handle it easefully. I feel things deeply and sometimes viscerally. Words stick with me and images flash in my mind, popping up in the middle of something else and instantly zaps me out of the moment.
That’s the struggle in the gift.
With the news of the past year, popping onto socials is often a dance among the emotional landmines. Taking a moment to escape into my phone often hitting me with reminders of how hard it is to remain an optimist in between my dopamine hits of Gilmore girl memes and fan cuts of One Direction songs. And as I was kindly reminded by those I live with, the feelings I feel in the world of my phone transfers into how I show up in my real life.
Noticing how the scary things we see across our feeds and affect each of us on the daily. Fear based feelings that are a drain on your glow because they are fueling despair more than they are inspiring hope.
But in his letter, he brings up the idea that being a little bit scared is part of creating a frisson that is the opposite of everyday life. (source)
And with that we create intention and celebration of all of our emotions.
Feeling on Purpose
When we understand that all of our emotions have a purpose, and that our emotions have a direct influence on our actions...
...we can use them to navigate and even change the story of what’s possible.
This ties in with the push/pull of time freedom we talked about a couple weeks ago.
When we are intentional about what push or pull into emotional realm, we create a sense of emotional agency.
Instead of having life just happen to us...
Recognizing we have the power to shape our reality based on what we allow ourselves to notice... and the story we tell ourselves about it.
In the near future, I’ll be sharing more about how we can learn the secret formula for living out the highest expression of the story of our lives.
It’s so simply juicy.
But one insight I’ll share now ties right back into what this Editor’s Letter was saying.
When we can shift the power of what scares us by ‘defanging it’ (his corny pun, not mine lol), and feel it with purpose, we can start to have fun on the journey.
Collecting candy from strangers, or rather nuggets of inspiration from unexpected sources.
Coming back from the adventure and sorting through all of the goodies and “frights” of the night.
And building up excitement for the next adventure.
Emotional agency is truly the ultimate form of self-care.
Want to know make the most of your self-care moments? The free Glow Map Mini-Course helps you intuitively know what you need to replenish what lights you up.
Emotional Agency in Real Life
Start reclaiming your emotional agency in your own life with these simple steps.
Build and affirm your belief that your feelings matter.
Begin to notice your feelings throughout your day and where you hold them.
Take note of what ‘story’ these feelings are trying to tell about the situation.
Play with reframing the story through a different lens
When you start to observe and curious about what you are feeling, you can sense them from a more outside perspective rather than getting caught up in the moment. When you notice and steer the emotional story, you are able to reclaim your emotional agency and feel in control of the drain it can have on your energetic capacity.
As an empath and HSP, it is easy for me to feel ‘all the things’ and quickly slip into executive function overwhelm. By using this technique, I am able to maintain emotional equilibrium more quickly by feeling my feelings but not letting them drain me. This sense of agency in my life ends up giving me a boost and replenishes my glow energy.
How To Feel Confident Pursuing A Life You Love
Understanding how your emotions affect your glow, that life force energy within you is key to living a life that you love. Being curious about how your emotions show up is a good place to help navigate those moments when we feel a mix of emotions and don’t understand.
Ask yourself-
Where am I scaring myself about things that don’t serve a greater purpose?
How can I start to assign purpose to everything that I do so that it serves in growing my glow?
When is a time when something brought up a lot of feelings and it affected how I showed up?
Have I ever noticed what I was truly afraid of when going through a moment of emotional frisson?
When have I experienced a moment when the potential thrill outweighs the anticipatory fear?
Use these as journal prompts or ask them to yourself while you’re on a walk, in the shower or in the liminal moments before falling asleep or waking up- some place where you have a moment to let the world drop away and your mind has the bandwidth to let your thoughts wander.
So while we are in a season that’s filled with a whole lot of scary, both online and in life, notice where you can be more intentional about what scares you... and use it to fuel what lights you up.
Use this nugget to notice things this week and maybe inspire some change.
You never know where it will take you...
Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey of solving the impossible, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.
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