4 Tips to Tame Your Struggle and Use your Time Better
You have an amazing talent to somehow get everything done that needs done. You pull off miracles everyday with ease that others would struggle with. And you make sh*t happen even when it doesn't feel easy. In many ways, you are super mom.
But super moms can get super burnt out.
What if there was a way to help make getting it all done a bit easier, a bit more in alignment and in ways that help us feel more fulfilled rather than burnt out? Learn a couple practical ways to make better choices about what you take on and how to organize your time to do more of those things in a flow state. Combined, these tips will help you tame your struggle, reduce the sense of overwhelm and bring you back from the brink of burn out.
Know Yourself
This probably doesn’t show up on many “How to be More Productive as a Busy Mom” lists, but I feel like it’s the number one topic no one is talking about. The to-do list of a parent (usually, moms) is full of things that your kids need, the household needs, and maybe your own needs (if you even think that far). Layer in work demands and it only adds to the stress of feeling pulled in 1,000 different directions.
Before your list blows up any further, I want you to take few moments and start a new list.
Use this list to capture as many things as you can about yourself in terms of your strengths, preferences, things you enjoy.
What are the things that you are able to excel at? Handle easefully? Frustrate you that people have a hard time doing what comes to you naturally? When does time fly when you’re doing something? Get super quirky and specific. Knowing your strengths and talents can be really helpful in getting shi*t done.
Knowing when it comes time to sign up for school committees or work groups, a new season changes your whole schedule or deciding who’s doing what within the family, picking what aligns with your strengths will help you have less resistance when it comes time to do it. Part of this is having perspective and self knowledge, which removes a struggle from your day. When you operate more from a state of ease because you are doing more of what you like, people will see and appreciate that you bring those talents.
Make a list of your talents and what comes easefully to you. Is it-
Organizing people
Being a good listener
Creating a process
Understanding different points of view
Organizing information and making sure everyone understands
Motivating people
Getting to the point
Creating a schedule
Understanding people's needs
Being in tune with people's feelings
Seeing gaps in what needs done
Persuading people to donate time, money, enthusiasm
Even when your to-do list is a mash up of errands, cleaning, coordinating schedules and making calls, seeing it through the lens of confidence about what you’re actually pretty great at doing helps. Recognizing how you even mundane tasks actually tap into something you’re really great at helps make it more purposeful. When you love what you’re doing, you do more of it, and things get done! And it can help you see where you could start with getting things off your list through outsourcing to someone else, not volunteering for that again or swapping responsibilities with someone.
Making lists to know myself better is a practice that really helps give me direction and clarity about how I truly want to spend my time and energy, what really lights me up. To go deeper into this practice, check out my downloadable mini-course, More/Less List Magic. Start orienting your life toward what you want your life to look like with a simple list.
Think of Your Time Differently
Once we have reframed the to-do list and started streamlining it to include more of what we are actually pretty darn good at, it’s time to get some things done!
We all have pockets of time that kind of get lost in the day, where we could be putting them to good use. Five, ten minutes that slip away like raindrops on a windshield while we stare and scroll. But those little drops add up. And they can actually be sucking away your energy, making it even less likely you’ll get things done. Let’s rethink your to-do list and really make you feel like a superstar.
It may seem like no big deal to pick up your phone and scroll, but it actually is probably shifting you toward a lower vibe state. Even the most curated feeds can still shift you out of a high vibe state and derail you even more.
Start with making a 4-square grid and mark 5, 10-15, 30 and 60+ minutes like the example. Fill in each section with things you want or need to do based on the estimated time it will take to complete them.
We all feel the time crunch and having a whole hour to do something sometimes feel out of reach and starts to fall in the “never actually going to get done” category. See if they could be broken down into smaller tasks. And decide if those things should even be on your list. Drop the guilt and dead weight of the What If, Coulda, Shouldas if it's not something you feel aligned to do.
When you have 5 minutes, use them! When you have days where you’re on a roll, pick out a handful and knock a few things out. Soon all those drops will add up to big progress! And start to notice how this practice starts to create more space in your day that you can use more intentionally for the things that really light you up!
Limit Your Decision Making
You know what also helps make you more productive? Limiting your decision making.
I am super guilty of bouncing between tasks (and getting distracted while “focusing”). I know that if I want to maximize my time and make more space to live a life that lights me up, I’ve got to make some mental shifts. Shift from a distracted squirrel mindset into one that let's you make the most of your time and energy.
Look at your life and evaluate what can you batch together to make similar decisions at once rather than having to keep shifting gears and losing those precious 5-minute blocks. The same way you map out the best route to run errands, map out a strategic way to get your to-do list done. What to wear, meal planning, making appointments, chore schedule, morning/evening routine. Put your to-do list through the Slice-o-matic filter. Slice and dice it into new segments and see how dissimilar tasks actually require a similar mindset or way of being to get them done. Don’t let those squirrels sneak off with nuggets of your time! Group those cute squirrels together and make them work for you! Regain that time to use in a way that lights you up!
Unsubscribe From Busy
The point of this is to unsubscribe from busy and use our time more intentionally. But sometimes we just can't seem to do it. The world is always telling us to hustle and to get more done. Our capacity is tapped out. And we have no more to give. We all struggle, daily. Hourly. Sometimes from moment to moment. Sometimes it’s from things of our own doing. And other times it from systemic issues and failures of our society. Or a convoluted mix of it all.
Sometimes it feels too much to plow through your struggles, to make every moment magical. It just doesn’t feel right. And in those moments, sit, carve out a little space in the chaos and acknowledge how hard this sh*t is. The best way to get more done is to slow down, honor your struggles. Connect with your heart energy. Refill and reset your capacity. Tell yourself what you need to hear. The phrase I use most often with my kids (and with myself) affirms the core knowledge my inner being wants affirmed. You are safe. You are loved. And I’m so proud of you. That through it all, building trust that you have you own back.
“You are safe. You are loved. And I’m so proud of you.”
I’m learning to notice when I feel my energy flagging and my vibration dropping. Rather than just numb out and take “just a few minutes” to scroll my phone, I’m trying something else. That’s when I give myself permission to step away and go lie down. I crawl under my weighted blanket and sink in. Once I lay down and take a breath, I can feel my inner being find a state of equilibrium. I can sense it rebalancing and all of the frazzled parts of me reboot and come back on-line.
Giving yourself what you need builds a sense of self-trust. Keeping your promise to yourself through to those words of affirmation that you are safe. You are safe to rest. Give this a try and see what you notice. See if you are able to re-enter life from a place of intention, focus and more vibrancy than if you tried to just push through.
Use this sticker as a reminder to wear a badge of living a life that you’ve curated and love.
Permission You Only Think You Need
We are each really good at making things harder than we need to be, wearing our stress like a badge of honor. It’s time to shift that mindset and give yourself permission to live a life that lights you up. Knowing that it is okay to take a break, to add more ease into your day, and to actually like more of what you have to do, even in the mundane, you start to see the everyday magic and live a life that lights you up.
When you’re ready, take a breath and go tackle your day with the strength and light within you. Use these tips to be more intentional about your time to make the shift away from busy and toward intention. You start with 5 minutes at a time.
Remember your magic. Take intentional action. Choose to live a life that lights you up.
And remember- I’m so proud of you.
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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.
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