Naming Your Unmet Needs

I have to admit something to you.

I have long resisted clicking on Instagram ads. You can see them a mile away. They are always so "life changing" and "miracle" products.

And yet TWICE this week I've been typing in my credit card for two things I saw an ad for. No idea what possessed me to get sucked in.

• Were they needed? One yes, one yeessss.... (it's a stretch, but yes)

• Will they make my life easier? Yes

• Will they add joy or satisfaction to my day? If they work as promised, yes

So I'm taking a little bit of a gamble on buying these things, but I didn't hesitate when I recognized that they spoke to a need or desire I had and they hold promise to solve the problem. Even when it was from a source that I usually shy away from. And I feel good knowing that those needs and desires are taken care of.

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Little things are actually big things

It's actually kind of a big weight off my shoulders.

Something bigger than a gadget and hair product. It means future peace of mind. It means valuing myself more. It means appreciation from my future self.

What's an unspoken need or desire that needs some attention in your own life? Where in your life is there something that needs to feel valued and appreciated?

It might not be something that can be solved with the tap of an ad and entering your payment info.

But naming it... your unmet needs, your different kinds of rest, your undervalued pieces of you, and opening your awareness to finding a solution is key. And you never know what might literally just pop up and make it an easeful process to solve. Maybe from an unexpected place.

So now what?

How do you know you have an unmet need? I came across this graphic from @mombrain.therapist a few years ago and it has stuck with me. Whenever I start to feel that "angry mom" come up or other not-self feelings, I do a check-in with myself.

Seeing it called out in these different buckets helps me hone in on what is feeling drained.

Why don’t you take a minute and look at where you feel an unmet need. Pause and ask yourself what unmet need you are feeling the loudest?

What came up for you?

• Feeling stretched like everything you do is invisible?

• Deep sense of exhaustion from the mental gymnastics of summer schedules

• Your inner spirit saying 'let me play'

Tell your inner self thank you for letting you know what you need most. Naming it is actually a huge step.

Now fulfill what it needs. Even the smallest thing helps. Follow that impulse and give what you can to that unmet need, that unnamed type of rest, just like you would if your friend or child came up and asked. Give that same support to your own self.

Let it know that you see it and you are taking steps to fill it up.

For more inspiration about the power of ‘name to tame’ it, my free Curiosity Quest is a Human Design inspired walking meditation with printable workbook that explores the 7 different instinctual fears and how to step into the higher expression of each one. Fulfill and unmet need and take a step of aligned action toward living a life that lights you up.

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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.

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