Unveiling Your Inner Dialogue: Noticing the Words That Keep You Stuck

We have been on a long weekend in Traverse City, MI and part of me felt overwhelmed trying to make this happen too.

The pressure of showing up for myself is real, so I focused on the long term feelings rather than the short term ones. Because the future me would be mad at myself for not getting myself over my own hump day.

So I'm here, keeping the promise I made to my future self to be consistent about showing up for you (and me). And I know she will thank me for it tomorrow :)

And it will be so worth it.

Know Your Excuses

I've had several friends come to me with their own version of 'stuckness' in the now but with burning desire to make their future goals happen. I'm going through my own version of it, beyond showing up here.

One thing I have uncovered about myself (and lovingly shined a light on) is that when I get stuck, and afraid to take action, I default to saying "I don't know."

It's a protective type phrase that I have used in many situations with myself.

It boils down to 3 categories of reasons-

• I'm afraid of what will change by making the decision or taking the action

• I'm worried about what other people will think, say or feel as a result of my choice

• I don't fully believe I have what it takes to follow through

The 'fun' part is that they often tag team each other and create a hybrid offshoot, making it trickier to name each time.

Naming Where You're Stuck

One tool that has helped me is taking a closer look at the fears and motivations of my Enneagram type.

(If you don't know yours, you can take this free version)

As an Enneagram 9, this archetype is known as the Peacemaker.

Learning this was a HUGE 'aha' for me.

It gave me a filter to run my experiences through and ask myself questions, especially when my mind starts running away with answers that my inner self doesn't feel are serving my best self.

And noticing when I start to use the phrase "I don't know", I KNOW that's where I need to dig a little deeper.

(This was my first and favorite book for exploring the types)

Know Yourself

What are the things you say to yourself when you feel stuck?

What limiting phrases or conditions do you put on yourself that hold you back from taking action?

"I don't know"

"I can't put it into words"

"I'm not sure what would even help"

"I don't have the time/money/resources to figure it out"

Spend some moments unpacking those a little bit. I took myself on a mindful movement meditation, or a walk & talk as I call it, facing my fears and "I don't know" head on.

Ask yourself what fears or motivations are driving those thoughts energetically?

For me, noticing that the block of "not knowing" was driven by the ultimate inherent desire for peace, not creating change, even to the detriment of my dreams helped me unravel those stories a little bit...

...and bravely take aligned action

“Change is the essence of life; be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

— Reinhold Niebuhr

What is something you have learned about yourself lately? Or are noticing and want to figure out? To help you uncover your own fears and motivations, use this prompt and see where the inner conversation goes with yourself.

Leave a comment or message me on Instagram or LinkedIn and I'd love to untangle part of it with you.

If you are interested in going deeper into the fears that hold you back, my Human Design inspired walking meditation will show you how to make like easier by noticing the fears that hold you back.

Wishing you a week filled with bravely noticing something you can begin to embrace and harness within yourself!

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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.

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