Backing Up and Moving Forward: Building Confidence One Step at a Time

How often do you do things that scare you, that nudge up against your growth edges?

I have a strong aversion to backing up my car.

Like a big ol' NOPE when it comes to parallel parking or anything with something in the hitch.

Even with the rear-view camera, I have a hard time translating what I am doing when moving in reverse into what actions I need to take with my hands to adjust the wheel.

My husband, by the way, is a friggin' genius at it, so I know it's totally possible for humans to be good at it.

I can't come up with some traumatic event that brings up these feelings, but it's there nonetheless.

So in the spirit of ​exploring my edges​, I've been challenging myself to practice backing into parking spaces where there is like literally zero consequences to giving it a try.

Whenever I go somewhere, instead of maybe waiting for the closest parking spot, or just zipping into a roomy spot, I’ve been intentionally picking ones where I have plenty of space to pull forward and practice backing into the space.

Each time I attempt this, at times when I’m already needing a parking spot anyway, it helps me build my confidence and nudge my comfort zone just a little bit bigger. Since I’m layering into what I’m already doing anyway, and the stakes are really low, it’s an easeful way to nurture my sense of growth and expansion.

And has even had me daring to (okay it was on accident because I was aiming for another spot), successfully backing into a spot next to another car. A big (unintentional) win!

Little opportunities for practice add up for future ease and success

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Looking for a tool to help you explore the edges of your fears and limits that hold you back?

Check out the free Firefly Scout Curiosity Quest

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Power of Anticipating Growth

This type of action is part of having a growth mindset and living with a spirit of adventure. I don’t have any specific need to master operating my car forwards and backwards, but I have a sense that for the adventures I want have in my life it would really help me enjoy them even more if I made some progress on this growth edge. And building up my wealth of evidence that I can survive bumping up my growth edges.

We can see how these actions of intentional preparedness can mean the difference between the success or failure of a daring adventure. In the book Great by Choice by Jim Collins and Morten T. Hansen, they share the stories of Roald Amundsen and Robert Falcon Scott, leaders of their expeditions to the South Pole.

Amundsen sought ways to prepare himself for the adventures in his heart by including a level of curiosity and exploring his edges throughout his life. Scott was far less inclined.

Amundsen built his strength and endurance, studied with those who thrived in chilling conditions and learned things that could serve him while on an expedition in barren waters. Scott leaned on what he knew and let the barrier of learning new things hold him back from innovating his approach into unexplored territory.

As they each prepared for and set off for the same quest, this sense of knowing their edges and building confidence by exploring and expanding them, building up a vast reference of relevant experiences led to them to tragically different outcomes.

So in that same way, we have a choice in how we approach our own lives. Exploring the edges of our fears or staying safely within the realm of our comfort zone.

The Edge of Our Fears

Being able to name our fears, irrational, unfounded or otherwise, is a critical step in the ​journey to taming them​.

But figuring out the exact edges of these fears and then gently leaning into them helps us stretch ourselves into that territory where we can feel that sense of growth and expansion.

Backing into one parking space at a time, I'm building the feeling like I'm able to navigate the world a bit more confidently.

And ​giving myself evidence​ that I could just maybe conquer the bigger things that are holding me back from living the dreams that light up my heart.

Exploration Questions

I love to explore and ask myself questions about things that come up whether written out in my journal, contemplated on a walk or have come in an ‘aha’ moment while driving or in the shower.

Ask yourself these personal growth questions-

• What fears or limits are holding me back from living life to my fullest?

• What would it feel like to know that I had the power to changes those edges?

• What is something I shy away from in my daily life but would make my life easier if I leaned into that growth edge?

I hope that this inspires you to notice moments in your own life where you can bump up against a growth edge and nudge it just a bit.

Because each one of these moments add up and contribute to your sense of growth and expansion, one try at a time.

Send me a picture on Instagram of what expanding your growth edge looks like. I love to celebrate with you and keep a record of the evidence!

Curious to explore your own growth edges? Check out the free Firefly Scout Curiosity Quest and learn how to better name the fears that are holding you back and learn tips for nudging those boundaries in a sustainable way.

*post contains affiliate links

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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.

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