How to Make Better Decisions (and feel good about it!)

Decisions come at us all the time. Some are bigger than others. And when the ones that come up ask us for a significant commitment to time, money and attention, we want to feel confident we are making a good decision.

I was more than half tempted to sign up for another course this weekend.

I’ve taken a 12-week course with this person before and truly got a lot out of it.  It was worth the investment. It was exactly what I needed at the time.  A supportive container.  Accountability and nudges.  Addressing the blocks and mystery about moving forward with my business.

It was a safely guided path forward.

And that’s what I was looking for again.  Only this time, I wanted it like when my kid clings to my hand going into school for the millionth time and has to give me another hundred kisses.  To repeat what is comfortable, to practice it just a little bit better before taking the next step in my journey.

So why didn’t I sign up?

The price was good, really good I felt, especially when I counted in the alumni discount.  The people that follow her are all have a great energy about them.  This iteration of the course was going into a deeper dive into topics I’m aligning myself with this year.

I got so much out of the course over 2 years ago.  Met amazing, supportive people that I still reach out to and support.

It was almost a no-brainer decision for me, to return to that safe container.

What I really wanted

But then I took a moment to reflect on it, on what I was really wanting out of the experience, what I really thought it would give me to help set out on the next journey for my business.  Taking this time to name it helped me separate the things I really need for the adventures ahead and my feelings about how ready I feel.

Community- I have that available to me with the people I am still connected with from the course originally.  Some of them I talk with quite regularly and others less, but still within my bigger circle.  I don’t need more people so much as connecting more intentionally with people I’m already lucky enough to know.

Gaining specific knowledge- This version of the course has a greater emphasis on launching a podcast and that’s something I’m considering as part of my journey for this year.  But the course I took already has a segment on it that I can go back and listen to, for free.  I have several friends who have amazing podcasts (some I’ve even been a guest on), and I know that they would love to offer their guidance and thoughts on getting started.

Frequency boost- With the plans I have for life and business this year, I am needing to raise my frequency, my vibration to be a match for my dreams.  That is the other part of the course, focusing on abundance and shifting your mindset into receiving mode.  And I know these things.  I practice these things.  I share these things with you.  But my big journeys also come with some occasional big doubts about how it’s going to happen and I am wanting a good resource to hold my hand to help keep me at the vibration I want to live at.  But part of my journey so far has been connecting with resources that help me on that front.  My journaling practice, the books I read, the podcasts I listen to, the people I surround myself with, the evidence I keep my awareness open to.

Taking the time to really name what I was wanting to get out of the program really helped me put it into perspective.  To see that I already had more of the resources than I thought to draw upon and that I can be more intentional about filling those buckets up.

I also remembered that the first time I took the course, there was something magic about it.  And I soaked up so much of it.  It was what I needed to level up at that time. 

Knowing My Capacity

I still want that magic.  I want it bottled up in a pretty package that I can drink in.  But then I looked at my whole capacity, my time, emotional, physical, mental and monetary resources and the boundaries that they each have.  And I looked at the journeys I have planned for this year that I'm beyond excited about.  And when I slice it that way, I don't have the capacity to add all of that learning, videos and calls and related work into my schedule for the next few months.

To feel the growth and success that this course offer, to get the value from it to do would be, I'd have to be present.  I would need to need to allocate my capacity into being on the 2x weekly calls, doing the practices and the homework they suggest for each week and meeting with an accountability group. All the things that made it so successful for me the first time through.

I realized all of that would take away from the journeys that I’ve named and excited to pursue for my own self.  Reconciling the resources needed to put toward goals for the year versus what this course would require helped make this an easeful decision.  Having this clarity also will help me avoid FOMO because I will be so present and excited about what I’m focused on.

This reflection process also helped me see that I was partially interested in this course because it would be a crutch holding me back from the forward momentum that I've already been building.  I’m not saying you cannot repeat or reinforce what you've learned in the past, I am certainly one to need reminders.  But this one would be almost like a redundant loop.  It wouldn’t really advance me forward like it did the first time.  The first time through it, it kind of felt like a shortcut, it got me in the flow and moving through blocks I was facing.  It got me in the environment, in the vibration that I needed to level up.

And this time around, there wasn't such a leveling up feeling. But analyzing it and thinking through really helped me name what I was really wanting out of that.  By naming what I really need, I can tap into the connections I already have, I can be open and allowing new ones to come in, I can use my energies to grow from where I'm at instead basically helping me moving but not gaining forward motion.  This reflection gave me a confidence boost.  To remind me that I know what I am capable of and to channel that into the journeys I’m excited to embark upon.

I remembered how much time I spent in the course before.  And that was so good. I got so much out of it; the time was right for that.  But when I realize that what I really need can be met in a different way, ones that I can easefully layer into what I’m already focused on, this became an easy no.

I can connect with amazing people through my newsletter, Instagram and podcasts.

I can use what I already know and play with starting a podcast as I share my journal entries and be open to recording my thoughts instead of writing them.

I can be more intentional on the practices I already have and build upon them to raise my frequency.

Knowing that I already had a full plate for what I want to work on for the next couple months, I realized I didn’t want to add this on.  This time around, it wouldn’t be an investment in myself.  It would be draining on all fronts and actually move me backwards energetically because I’d feel like I was failing on all fronts.  So it kind of came down to like a bit of an easier decision than I thought.

“When I’m trusting and being myself as fully as possible, everything in my life reflects this by falling into place easily, often miraculously.”

— Shakti Gawain

Your Turn

This time of year is full of people feeling the New Year energy and fresh starts.  I'm sure that you're getting bombarded with a bunch of these free masterclasses, workshops and program launch offers. Learning new things is amazing, they have transformed my journey in so many ways. You might be contemplating a life, career or financial decision, but the fundamental challenge is still the same. It's important when you're presented with an opportunity, especially one that really seems so good that you take time to discern if it’s really FOR you. 

What is something you are considering for your goals, your journey this year?  I encourage you to find a couple of opportunities that interest you. 

Are you looking to grow your creativity?  An Artist’s Way accountability group is an amazing place to start (my recommendation).

Are you wanting to deepen your friendships and love snail mail?  The Hey Weegs’ Just Send the Damn Card membership is perfect.

Do you want to start showing up for yourself more?  Learn how to set an intention and keep a streak of promises to yourself.

Then before you decide, take some time work through what you are hoping to get out of it and if that aligns with what you really need.

Write it out in your journal, take yourself on a walk and talk it out with yourself or with a friend.

• What am I most excited about with this opportunity?

• What do I hope to get out of it?

• How will it serve me with where I am heading?

• Do I feel like this is the right energetic match for me?

• Is it going to help me grow in a way that aligns with my values?  

• Does it feel like this creator has my best interests at heart?  (Anyone that's asking you to open up a credit card to pay for something does not have your best interests at heart.)  

• What is the opportunity cost?

• What expectations and outcomes will I need to adjust for the other areas of my life?

• Within my time, energy, financial resources do I have the capacity to do it, and feel successful?  

• How will I honor my capacity and accommodate this short-term activity?

• Do the possibilities of how the course is going to change me light you up inside, even if it’s scary?

Changes Ahead

How is it going to change you? is I think the most important question to ask.  We sign up for things because we want to meet our goals, to learn new skills, navigate through blocks.  We do those things we want to change, we want to shift, we want to know and grow deeper, wider, stronger, smarter.

Sometimes we choose things because they can give the impression that you are taking a step forward when really it’s letting you hide behind taking an actual step forward.

By knowing the difference between a crutch and a ladder, working through whether this is something that's actually serving you to your best and highest good, you can get out of that stuck feeling and take aligning action.

Down at the heart of it, where you want to change?  And will this enhance your journey toward the change you seek?  Are you ready and willing to surrender to the change?  Do you have it in your capacity of mind, body and spirit?  If you don't yet, what are you willing to shift to make it in your capacity?

Sometimes that's not a lot.  Sometimes it's a huge commitment. Understanding for that whatever commitment you’re considering is likely for a short time and you can sustain it for a sprint’s worth of time, you can do it for the six or 12 weeks.  Then also understanding that you can't do everything and your plate is already jammed.  Knowing it will serve you and your journey, but also accommodating how something else is gonna have to give.   Being able to name that and responsibly, proactively make that decision will make the experience so much more easeful.  Anticipate and prepare for those shifts and you’ll be in a better mindset to embrace how the opportunity is meant to change you.

As you're contemplating what journeys you want to go on this year, and the tools that will best serve you remember that to ask yourself the question, Is this something that's a crutch?   Is this moving you forward in your journey or is it just letting you think you’re being productive, and making marginal progress toward what you want and avoiding doing the real magical work for a bit longer?

If You want a guide

Understanding that there's a difference between the fears that come up when you respond to nudges and growth that are in alignment with where you're going and the feelings that come up when you are pursuing something that run counter to who you are.  

If you're having trouble answering the questions above, and you’re tired of going around in circles about where you want to go, you need a tool to address that.  When you’re not even really sure who you are, the place to start is to know yourself better.  The Firefly Scout Illumination Kit is a great place to start.  When I was trying to comprehend all the ways that motherhood changed me, I experimented with a bunch of tools, practices and mindset shifts.  Getting to know myself better and helping me show up more in my own life gave the opportunity to gain clarity on my life’s purpose. 

The Illumination Kit is the compilation of how I started my journey, organized into the practical steps I took to understand myself better.  I knew I was ready to make some shifts in my life, to find and align myself with my purpose so that I could really understand and operate from my fears, motivations, tendencies and habits.  Through this journey I was able to see myself more honestly for who I am and have a better sense of where I wanted to go.

If you don't have a map, a sense of direction, then you're not prepared and you don't have the resources to really be successful.  It's like wandering the desert with snow shoes, you need to have the right things in your backpack and know how to use them.

You are your best guide for your journey, but you have to know and trust yourself enough to allow your inner knowing, your inner guide to lead you.  Before you make a big financial investment on something that you aren’t even sure will help, my advice is take a journey to know yourself better. You can buy the Illumination Kit and use that as your guidebook.  Or you can intentionally craft your own way through your own combination of personality trait tests, list making, journaling prompts, and self-exploration exercises to deepen your connection with your inner knowing and giving yourself space for reflection.

How you navigate your journey is up to you. Here’s to making choices that guide you toward knowing yourself better, remembering your magic and living a life that lights you up.

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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.

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