Start with the dream
We celebrated Dr. Martin Luther King Jr this week. I was truly moved by this interview and the gentle passion he had.
One of his most famous speeches embodies the message “I have a dream” and he goes on to speak of the visions for his dream, inspiring millions to rally with him.
Dreams are powerful. Dreams can scare us. Dreams motivate us.
Dreams are what change the world.
Simon Sinek posted an observation, stating that there’s a reason Dr. Martin Luther King gave the I have a dream speech, not the, I have a plan speech.
What struck me is that so many of us try to operate from thinking our way through things, planning our way out, but not taking the steps to feel energized by it instead, and rallying your spirit for the journey ahead.
Don’t start with a plan
When you're only focusing on the plan, and you're only nurturing that part of it, then you're not getting your spirit excited about it, your frequency. You’re not getting the energy behind it, the part that's going to keep you excited and keep you going forward with enthusiasm.
You can do all the things with aligned action. You can do it with perseverance. But those things are going to tap out if you don't have the energetic frequency behind it. They each have an effect on everything that you do. Of the three, I feel it is important to start with the dream and go from there. Follow the energetic and let the power of the dream pull you forward, rather than starting with the planning.
For added fuel, it is important to share your dream, just as Martin Luther King, Jr did. Just as JFK did about going to the moon.
The energy of your dream can spark something in others, fueling more of that frequency of confidence to change. From that place, you start to consider a route, a plan to make it happen will reveal itself. Don’t start overthinking your way forward. Let your dreams lead the way. Notice the difference in the engagement and enthusiasm when you start this way.
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”
It's important to start from that frequency point. Tune into that elevated feeling of how it feels, when you're in that space, what that space feel is going to feel like, and be there now that because if this is something you truly believe in, and it's possible than it already is. And so just by you believing it to be with your whole heart in such a way that it gives you the goosy feelings and believe it's possible, then it already is. And when it already is, then you can take the action toward it. As you take the action, then you're able to show up more and more.
Out of Flow
I have numerous dreams in my life. And some of them are pretty audacious. There are times that I lose the frequency of my dream. When that happens, it becomes really hard to follow the plan and take any steps forward. I feel the swirl of thoughts work to disorient me and shake my confidence. But when I come back around and realize that is what has happened, I tap back into that energetic and I can feel it through me again. Then that next step of aligned action, that next heart filled step becomes so much easier.
The practices that work well for me include-
Journaling about where I feel stuck, frustrated or downtrodden
Taking a walk outside and making a point to keep my eyes focused into the middle or far distance
Talking with a friend about what I’m feeling
Dancing to my ‘I got this’ anthem
Laying down under my weighted blanket and meditating or emotionally releasing it
Taking a break and doing something just for the fun of it
When it’s scary AF
Dreaming big is awesome. It’s also scary AF at times. It can be hard to always hold on to the energy, the belief that the fullest extent of this dream is meant for you and will change the world.
If you have trouble believing that, you’re not alone. I have the same trouble. That’s when I take it back a notch until I find a place of where I can believe and feel excited about it again. Even if it's not as far as you would like to be able to dare to dream, it’s not a compromise. This is an exercise in growing from where you're at and growing into believing what is possible. Through this, you can keep stretching what you believe is possible, expanding on that dream, as you collect the evidence of it becoming your reality.
It’s About the Journey
As you grow in confidence, and you keep taking the next right steps, then that dream can keep shifting. Because as you know more, and you grow more, it's okay that your dream changes, because you're further along the journey and you have a new perspective. We have to remember that all of this really is just about the journey. Yes, we want to reach our dreams. Yes, they are going to serve us well and make the world a better place. But it is also about all of the everyday moments, the everyday magic along the way. So we can't be just so focused on the end goal that we miss out on all of those things. It's paying attention, noticing that everyday magic along the way that will keep fueling your dream as you take the steps. Think of it as an evolving cycle- you have the dream, you take the action, you show up more, that gives you evidence which fuels your frequency, and the cycle continues.
Aware of the Evidence
All along you're going to see evidence of the possibility of the reality of the dream already is real, that you're going to start seeing it, you're going to start having pieces come together and more synchronistic moments. But you have to be aware of them coming into your realm, otherwise they'll pass you by. Sometimes those moments are nothing without the noticing and applying the energetic you put behind it. Your awareness has to be tuned into that frequency.
An example I can share is that I have been having times where I’m feeling a low point and a little bit out of sorts with my journey. Managing the kids, helping them learn, growing in my business and being a wife and having streaks where I don’t have a clear direction on where my actions are taking me. The swirl sets in. These are times when I am a little bit out of alignment and not staying in tune with my WHY. The engine sputters along and gets a bit wonky and resulted in a very messy, blubbery meltdown. It was good to get out as an emotional cleanse to reset (maybe to the surprise of my family). It did feel good to name it, share it and release it. And now I can restart the cycle, jumping in with tuning into that frequency again. That belief, and then knowing that the actions I'm taking, are aligned with the dreams that I have, I can show up bigger and bolder and more confident.
Evidence showed up the very next morning. I was on a book club call and the amazing women on it were able to help me name exactly what it was I had been holding. Seeing how they name it and can see it from their experience and that just helped me so much. To know that one, I'm not alone in navigating this journey, we never are. But it can be lonely at times, especially when we're not sharing enough. Feeling that energy from others come in helped me feel very seen and understood, validating my feelings.
In our book discussion, I was also able to name the point in my trajectory where I was at. In Atomic Habits by James Clear, there was a literal graph and an arrow pointing to it. The Valley of Disappointment, the dip between what you think should happen and what actually happens. That's magical to me, it was exactly what I needed, right when I needed it. It's like finding a landmark on a map that helped me reorient and get my bearings so I can proceed with renewed confidence. And to help me remember, I’m writing it down in my Evidence Journal.
All of this to say that it is important to know is that we can't think our way to our goals or to our dreams. We can’t just plan our way there. We have to have the dream and tune into that energetic. Use it to power our knowing of the next right step that aligns us forward to where we're going on this journey. And to approach it with tenacity and perseverance, and heart and courage.
Notice when your dream is reinforced by evidence along the way to keep fueling the frequency and tuning back into it. When those three are working together then real magic happens. That's when we find flow. That's when the dreams come to us quicker and faster than we could ever believe.
Most of us try to plan on our way there without being tuned into the energetic of WHY we're going. This is a critical step that most of us miss when we're talking about our plans or our goals. We can't SMART-goal our way to our dreams. Too often we burnout, we get tired and quit. We each need to tune into our WHY, our magic, our beingness, and notice the ways that the journey moves us toward our dreams. Embrace the ways the dream is going to change you and as you enthusiastically move forward to meet it, making the world a better place with YOUR LIGHT, shining bright, to inspire others to go on their own journey.
“Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that.”
I'm curious to know what dreams you do have? What dreams are you maybe not even daring to dream, daring to name. Without the dream, you can't even come up with a plan.
Need a guide?
If you are looking for a guide to help you name your WHY, check out the Firefly Scout Illumination Kit. Through the multi-week self-discovery journey, the guides will walk you through the steps I took to name and connect with my WHY. Find the way to finally, really be brave enough to know yourself better and have the tools, practices and encouragement to pursue the journeys you’ve been dreaming of and live a life that lights you up.
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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.
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