√ Anticipate, √ Prepare, Reflect

This month’s theme has been Anticipate and Prepare, creating a plan for navigating the stresses of the holiday season. I took my own advice and for the most part it helped.  I made a reasonable to-do list, shedding some expectations and put in the focused effort on the things that I felt were meaningful for me and the family.

Couldn’t find Christmas cookie cutters in our stash, so woodland creatures did just fine!

In a few quiet moments I have made for myself here post-Christmas, I’m reflecting on how things felt.  While I feel the pang of not having the cute matching jammies photo that is like the epitome of winning Christmas memories, I didn’t come across any that really looked like ‘the ones’.  We still had a great holiday and took a lot of self-imposed pressure off.  We didn’t make a ton of Christmas cookies (these were delicious) or holiday crafts, but we did just the right amount for us.

I’m so glad that my husband and I are both off this week, but it is wearing to have the kids so stir crazy and me wanting to get things done and my headspace all over the place.  And so much self-sabotaging of just getting anything done.

Reflect on thoughts for next year

Even though we are about 11 months away from starting the holiday magic all over again, now is the perfect time to take note of what I want to remind myself of for next year. I’ve spent some time reflecting in my journal about how things went, what feelings I felt and how I can use that to shift and improve for next year.  I created a free printable with these prompts to stick in your journal or reflect on during your next walk or quiet moment.

• What things went even better than I could have hoped?  And what could have gone better and why?

• What activities or visits caused anxiety or snippy behavior?  Reflect on what trigged those feelings.

• What situations made me feel like I was unworthy or not enough?  Reflect on how much of that was self-imposed.  If this is a situation I am likely to encounter again, how can I handle it better?  (boundaries, preparedness, self-care)

• When did I feel overwhelmed this month?  What are some ideas to help anticipate and prepare for situations that made me feel overwhelmed?  How did I recognize when I felt overwhelmed?  What are some ways that helped me find my balance again?

• What activities, treats or things brought you joy this month?

• Describe a moment I felt true magic around me.

• When I think of myself a year from now, knowing what I know now, what steps can I take to help my mind, body and spirit feel prepared for the next holiday gauntlet?

For the more tangible reminders, I wrote myself a note to help me better anticipate and prepare for next year.  I’m sharing it with you here in hopes it inspires you to take a moment to reflect so that you can take some pressure off your future self and give you a leg up on anticipating and preparing for next year.

Dear Stephanie-

I’m so excited that we are entering the Christmas season again and that the glow of the tree will soon add a warmth to the living room. 

For the 2022 holiday season, I want you to remember to buy the ornaments we write on the back of to capture the interests of the kids and that it’s okay to buy them in October (far before you think is “appropriate”) so that you don’t have to run around to 4 stores to find something that works because you waited until mid-December.  And that if you want to watch a campy ‘home for Christmas’ Hallmark movie, go for it.  Same for hot cocoa, while the rest of the world is sipping their PSLs.

Buy the Lego countdown calendar when you see it so that you don’t have to make a special trip out later. That worked out really well, just try to not buy it when the kids are WITH you to fend off requests to ‘just look’ at it and counting down until the countdown starts.  And when you buy the Trader Joe’s 12 Days of Beauty countdown calendar (sneak peek inside) for yourself (well before Thanksgiving), go ahead and plan on saving it for January to give yourself a little treat to enjoy after the chaos dies down.

Taking a quiet moment on front of the tree allows for a much needed reset.

Speaking of that tree, make sure you spend as much time in front of it as possible, slowing down, enjoying the glow, looking at the ornaments and remembering the memories behind each one.  Read, journal, be cozy with that hot chocolate you still probably haven’t had yet.

Don’t forget that if we actually build the gingerbread house this year, you heard the suggestion to use a glue gun to hold it together (since you never eat it anyway).

Mail is one of your love languages, so don’t doubt that it’s too late to send out holiday cards (especially when it’s not even December yet).  So start picking out some cute photos from the year and get designing. And leave a special thank you note for Mailman Mike for bringing good cheer to mailboxes across the country.

Remember that we are still in the time of magical belief in Santa here, so make a special effort to help keep that spirit alive.  Help the kids with their wishlists early enough that “Santa” can make their wishes (oldest and youngest requests from Santa) come true without added stress.  And to grab some Santa specific wrapping paper for that added layer (you haven’t done that so far, but guessing B will catch on that the Santa gifts are wrapped in the same paper as the other gifts).

Heads up that you will need to fend off requests for Elf on a Shelf.  Now that we are in school, that came up this year and it is just not something that you are signing up for. (Any tips for navigating this discussion?!)

Whoever set up the teacher gift fund to contribute to should be thanked profusely because it made those gifts easy to check off and made you feel better that they were each getting something more significant and useful and a true sign of the appreciation for the time they spend with the kids.  Check in with the school PEP team on when those contributions are requested by.

It’s worth the trouble to plan out ALL the meals for the last two weeks of the year.  Trust me, you won’t want to think any more than you have to.  You can still be flexible if plans or appetites change, but totally worth it so you can keep spirits bright (and fed).

Speaking of chaos, during the ‘week between the years’, ya’ll are going to go stir crazy.  Have a plan for an outing, a night at the waterpark, a day of childcare, SOMETHING to ease all of the togetherness.  Because you are going to want to get some things done around the house, plan for the new year and have some time for yourself to chill after the anticipation and preparing is done.  Plan that timeout for yourself!

And work with the kids to pick a family in need and fulfill part of their wishlist.  You made a donation to the GoFundMe for one of the Oxford shooting victims that you have a connection with (local bank contribution site) and fulfilled wishes on the Black Fairy Godmother’s wishlist (Instagram), but get the kids involved and help them make selections.  Talk about how there is need in our community and the world all year round and what would they like to do to keep up the generosity of time and donations throughout the year.

Last Christmas really was good.  Everyone had their health, the family visits were good and memories were made.  Use these thoughts and reflections to help make this Christmas more easeful and give you more space to breathe and enjoy the magic.

Love,

I’m planning on putting a copy of this letter in our holiday decorations and put a couple reminders in my phone for early November so I don’t forget about the ornaments and countdown calendars. If you are a planner person, make notes on your month at a glance pages. Help you help your future self.

I hope this inspires you to take a few moments to reflect on how the holidays went for you.  What practical tips and reminders can you leave for your future self?  And what feelings and triggers need acknowledging in a more private space like your journal?

If this was helpful, share it with a friend and help give them the nudge to reflect. And I’d love to know how it helped you. Leave a comment, send me an email at hello@fireflyscout.com or send me a DM on Instagram.

Wishing you all the best that the new year has to offer!  With love and excitement for all that is to come, may all your wishes for 2022 come true! 

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