All You Bring to the Table
This time of year is about coming together as friends and family, sharing our favorite memories, holiday favorites and creating new memories together. Bringing over a thoughtful hostess gift, a dish to pass, a drink to share at the table together. But let's also remember to bring our whole selves to the table, those traits, attributes, passions, things that are important to you, all of your ‘you-ness’ that lives within you as your unique blend of magic. Your kindness, your sense of humor, your tone-deaf enthusiasm for singing Christmas carols.
Let's make a list of all the things that you bring to the table this holiday season, your special recipe that you bring to this world and recognize with gratitude and celebration, because that's what this season of thanksgiving is about.
“Thanksgiving (n.) a public celebration in acknowledgment of divine favor or kindness”
Begin
Your life has included a plethora of divine favors and kindnesses, so let’s take a few quiet moments to acknowledge and celebrate them. I invite you to get started this way.
Set the mood- light a candle, put on some quiet ambiance tracks and create some mood lighting to set yourself up for some time of reflection.
Journal- grab a sheet of paper or your journal and pen
Take a deep breath, closing your eyes and letting your shoulders drop. Repeat until you feel the tension ease in your head, neck and shoulders. Open your heart and mind and gain permission for you to be vulnerable with yourself.
Show the love
Start with making a list of kind and constructive things that others would say about you. Show yourself some love and write out a rampage of appreciation for yourself. Do it messy and don’t minimize the smaller traits. That is where the gold is, where your ‘you-ness’ lives.
Another way to approach this is to think of verbs that describe you rather than nouns, since our actions are stronger than words in how we show up in life. Naming your values is also a way to name traits about yourself. Also, revisit the list you made if you tried the Moment to Remember exercise.
Name where your attention goes
The way you spend your time says a lot about you. Think back through different times in your life and what filled your days when you were younger. Write out the things that are important to you, activities that you love to do, causes you support, because that list is unique to you. Again, think down to tiny details or experiences.
Go deep and wide
This list is never ending and something I would like to you keep adding to as new life experiences occur or a new perspective shows up. Maybe it's a conversation you have with some people you've known for a long time, like friends or your broader family (grandparents, cousins). Or ask a trusted co-worker to get a full circle view. You can ask them for a list of your traits and how you’ve shown up for different work situations. Ask “what do you come to me for?” to help them name what they see in you and what they value in your friendship.
What do you come to me for?
Keep writing, keep compiling that list. And then be gentle with yourself, because sometimes it can be hard to see some of these things or recognize things about yourself. Sometimes it can just feel so heartwarming that you never know what you meant to someone else. That moment of feeling seen and appreciated for all you bring to the table adds a powerful dash of magic to the recipe of your you-ness.
Ground beef
Somewhere in this exercise, when you are being open with yourself, there will be some ground beef in your chocolate trifle. Stick with me here. Just like in the classic F*R*I*E*N*D*S Thanksgiving episode, sometimes our recipes get stuck together, and we end up with ground beef layered in with our raspberries and ladyfingers.
This will never not crack me up
And you know what, even though that combination may not sound appealing to everyone, and that’s not how the recipe was supposed to go, people will still love you for it. Maybe even more because of it. Because it’s uniquely you.
List your secret ingredients
Once you have your whole list, take some time to clean it up and organize it and make note of the things that mean the most you. Maybe it's who said them or what was said, naming the most surprising things to you. What was maybe missing from that list that you would have expected people to say? Take some time, do some self-reflection and journal about those thoughts. This reflective work will take some additional moments to process. But take some time to come back to it
To help you, download the free printable gratitude journal prompts to remind yourself of all that you bring to the table.
As you wrap up this session of thanksgiving for yourself, feel that love and to embody it, even in these words to yourself. Practicing that self-recognition and self-awareness is key to our personal growth. At the end of all this take stock of how meaningful it is to know these things about you.
Make it a potluck
Use this time of thanksgiving to put more good out to the world. If you reached out to people and they shared their thoughts with you, think about how meaningful that was. Grab your pen and a note card or some paper and write a little love note to someone and remind them of all that they bring to the table. This is an important time for building community and connection, and celebrating all that we bring to the table, ground beef trifles and all.
I'd love to know what something that's on your list. And who you're going to reach out to, to let them know all that they bring to the table. And of course I would love to know how this helped you recognize all that you bring to the table. Comment here or send me a DM on Instagram.