Ever have one of those moments where you've maxed out your capacity for all the things? As a human these days, and especially as a mom, pressures from expectations run high. And instead of recognizing that we need a rest and reset to fill our reserves, we tend of double down and convince ourselves that doing more with less is the answer.

This reminded me of season 5 of Gilmore Girls, when Rory Gilmore quoted a line from Moby Dick and named her feelings by saying that she felt like knocking people's hats off.

She had hit her breaking point after working her tail off, efforting to be the best and didn't have the capacity for one more thing. When she received feedback about her job performance indicating that she didn’t have what it takes to become a journalist it was crushing. Her perspective was clouded and she didn’t have the bandwidth to take a step back and process the whole message and assess what she knew deep in her heart about her strengths and courage.

So she stole a boat and took to the sea (as one does).

But it came with the understandable consequences.

See the signs

I don’t want you to reach the point where you are going to either knock people’s hats off or steal a boat. Both have undesirable consequences that will lead to even MORE of a mess to clean up and not address any of your unmet needs.

Do you know the signs when you are at max capacity, feel like you are going to crack and want to knock people's hats off?

Mine look like-

• sleep sabotage

• irritability

• sharp and unkind words

• SOOOOO little patience

• a range of other poor choices that only exacerbate the issue

Take a moment and reflect on what yours look like. Yours may look like eating too much (or too little) and losing enjoyment and satisfaction for what you consume. I have a tendency to numb out and just kinda lay in wait for something to piss me off so I can knock their hats off to discharge those negative vibes. Being able to name them and even write them out as a list is helpful in knowing yourself better and giving you a checklist to reference when these feelings start to creep in. And when they get away from you, you can better name them in the moment and adjust your course.

Know yourself

Once you can start to identify when these traits and feelings are coming up, see if you can pick up that thread and walk it backwards. Where did things start to get off track? What are the root causes of these not-self tendencies? Where are you putting pressure on yourself, falling into the pressure of the stories of are you doing enough, being enough?

And where are you not putting enough value on play and doing what you love, what lights you up?

Most of the time, the answer to those moments of overwhelm isn't to do more, to double down until you crack.

What you really need is a way to "take to the sea" to reset before that happens. You could also think of it as self-care.

Play as Self-Care

The classic self-care tips don’t really refuel me like society says that they should. A bubble bath, doing my nails are nice and I do enjoy them, but they don’t really help me reset. It’s important to remember that self-care is anything that helps you reset what ails you. And that’s entirely personal to YOU! Sometimes that's a dose of adulting and doing that thing you've been avoiding because it’s draining in some way, but is ultimately creating more of a problem for you.

But usually what you need first, to give you a boost for everything else is taking a break from that adulting and letting your inner spirit play. Doing something that raises your inner vibration, feed your alignment and encourages your heart. When you raise your frequency, it strengthens your connection with your soul’s spirit and with your inner purpose in life.

Spending time outside is a big element in my self-care and I honor that with my daily walk streak (3 years and counting!) Enjoying a snow day is a key way that I play in the winter. In Michigan, the days are short and often dreary, so it’s easy to hunker down just a little TOO much and let our spirits flag a bit. Knowing that this is one of the "love languages" of my spirit helps me nurture it when the opportunity comes up. It also helps reframe my perspective when so many people complain about the inconvenience of a big snowfall.

This weekend I took my own advice and had some MAJOR play time. Check out my moment of play here in this Instagram short I created (a bonus moment of play creating it!)

Know Yourself

Can you answer this question- What does play look like for you? Knowing this about yourself is an important piece of the puzzle of knowing yourself better and therefore navigating your journey toward remembering your magic and living a life that lights you up. Because are you really living if you aren’t having fun?

What are some of the things that you can count on to give you a boost of play?

Use this prompt to help you make a list that you can refer back to and intentionally plan in some moments for you to add more play to your day and show up with a higher vibe. Write it out in your journal, on a notepad, in your notes app or even as a voice note (one of my favorite ways to get words out when I feel stuck). Save the prompt to Pinterest and create a collection of journal prompts or save the image to your phone to refer back to.

This week, make your list of ways you like to play. Of course think big, and capture anything that comes to mind. Then let some of the smaller things come up. What are some small, everyday ways that you can add some play to your day? Moments that you can sprinkle in to raise your vibration whenever that urge to knock people’s hats off starts to come up.

• sing, anywhere!

• jump on the back of the grocery cart and cruise across the parking lot

• add food coloring to something unexpected

• try a new outfit combination

• wear pigtails

• try some doodling

• start thinking of April Fools ideas

For more inspiration, check out my mini-course on More/Less Lists. Starting with naming what you want LESS of in your life can spark ideas for what you actually want MORE of, including play!

Make that list, put it somewhere that you can refer back to it. And make a promise to yourself that you will plan a moment of play into your everyday. Even better, put a couple of them on your calendar as a plan to follow through on that promise to yourself.

Keep track of it on the Firefly Scout Intention Tracker and build the courage to feel the boost of starting to live a life that lights you up! I can’t wait to see how you play!

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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.

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