I’m starting this month being more deliberate about things. About how I spend my time, how I take care of myself, how I share with others.  One big focus for the month is sleep.  The idea sparked from a free month-long group challenge I joined about getting enough sleep and getting up earlier and I’m already starting to notice a couple of changes.   Now this is a long-needed shift and something my husband is totally on board with.  I frequently (read: always) stay up later than him sometimes far too late engaging with revenge bedtime procrastination to claim a little part of my day back and enjoy the quiet.  The pandemic really shifted our work and personal schedules and I missed the few nights a month one of us was traveling for work and could just be alone.  It gave me time to refocus my thoughts and permission I thought I needed to spend my evenings the way I desired.

I think alone time on a plane is the ultimate alone time as I wrote about here in a past blog.  So, while I’ve been known to revenge bedtime procrastinate before and have always been a bit of a night owl, I am being deliberate this month with my sleep habits.  So, the first day I got my daily walk in during the day instead of putting off until the kids were asleep and readied myself for bed, read for 10 to 15 minutes, set my alarm and took my sleepy self to bed.  And while I was tired and ready to sleep, even using the sleep mantra I made up (I need my rest to be my best), my mind was like “well hello there I’m here to sabotage your goal for the night!”  

My usual tricks to help me drift off to sleep weren’t working- 4-7-8 exhale, imagining I’m melting into my bed, thanking my mind and giving it permission to rest.  It’s like because I had an intentional sleep goal, my mind was like- woah buddy what are you doing trying to sleep?! We’ve got things to think about! Remember seventh grade swim and those times you swam extra laps after school?  What was that about?  Was it for extra credit?  Or missing a day?  Or for a semester long competition?  When you finished the four lengths up and back across the swim lanes and got out to start again, what did you have to tell the person who was keeping track? Last name? Hour? What…? (Anyone from Jefferson Middle School who can help me out with these life altering questions, please let me know)

So, you can see that this was truly an act of sabotage by my mind. None of these topics were of any concern to me and have no bearing on my daily life.  There was probably some subconscious thread that I’m missing (what is my name, who am I, I need to beat this record, must get an A in my swim elective). But with this, I know it was tied to me making a deliberate change for the good.

Eventually I got out of bed and used the bathroom, sprayed on my magnesium oil on my feet and crawled back into bed.  Sleep didn’t come immediately, but my mind seemed satisfied that it had done its job and proved its point and let me drift off.  I didn’t let it stop me though and I’ve shown some progress with my revenge bedtime procrastination habits, not letting myself get sucked into a rabbit hole.  And each morning I wake up and make myself aware of how much I love my bed and sleeping, to help reinforce that memory in my brain.

I’m also learning how much we need sleep to be at our best.  That really it isn’t about the quantity of time awake, but the quality of it.  I fear that the reason I’m not getting the things done that will move my dream life forward is because I’m wasting it sleeping.  The reality is that sleep is what fuels the passion and allows the mind in me to process the big dreams I’m working on and gives me the emotional resources to not let fear hold me back.  It also helps me quiet that jerk of a voice in my head, quietly distracting me because I have the mental stamina to focus.

What blocks you from getting a good night’s sleep?  Need some ideas on how to set up a good sleep routine? Check out these tips or the amazing discussion from my friend Beth at The Calm and Cozy podcast or her beautiful book. I hope this inspires you to cancel your membership in the Revenge Bedtime Procrastination club! 

This isn’t the only deliberate change I’m working on this month and looking forward to sharing with you as it unfolds. I’d love to hear what deliberate changes you are working on! Comment or send a message to hello@fireflyscout.com

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