A Moment to Remember
Life is about the moments.
The pieces of time that we splice together to create the story of the life we live.
Often we are so busy in each moment, that we forget to pause. That is why this is the theme for the month, sharing tips and thoughts on how to take a moment to remember ourselves through all of the things that shape us.
I’ve lived 42 ½ years on this planet. (I had to double check the math on that one). And through all of it, I don’t remember it all. Can’t remember it all. But what sticks with me are moments. Moments that stand out and shape my life. Life is about the moments.
Moments are what shape our lives and add the story and meaning.
And we pride ourselves so much on how busy we make our lives, that we prioritize busy over meaning. And over reflection. Forgetting to pause and enjoy the moment we are in. Forgetting to create more moments with meaning. That can leave us feeling lost, or aimless, wondering where this is all leading.
Motherhood has been one of the biggest culprits of this. Diving in headfirst into the new identity I took on, by choice, and with welcome arms. Losing interest in so much as I explored so many things to help me feel prepared for this life changing event and then dealing with each new stage after the next. Car seats, snaps vs zipper sleep suits, how to cloth diaper, searching for an elusive special design on a swaddle blanket. I talked about this transformation on the Journey Within podcast (Apple | Spotify | Google).
Taking on this new identity of mother was something I was proud of and lovingly accepted. And after time, that role wasn’t so new. And I had settled into it with more ease and confidence. Two kids in, I was starting to get more sleep and wake up to the fact that something was missing. Part of me was missing. That amazingly awesome me-ness wasn’t showing up enough.
So what did I do? I started reading personal growth books (see my top 5 books and why), journaling and making lists. Lists about what I used to love in childhood, high school, college. From before I belonged to them- career, spouse, kids, adulting obligations. I wrote out things I loved to do, like collecting little things I thought were fun, reading books, playing outside and using my imagination. And I went deeper, writing out a list of times I liked the way I felt or like the feelings I had when I experienced something, like the wandering through a bookstore, the feel of really nice stationary, when I felt the knowing that someone was important in my life, feeling the innocent joys of being goofy among friends. Experiences that are like moments than things.
I also wrote out things I like about myself, compliments others have said about me and observations about myself all of the things I bring to the table across my lifetime of acquaintances, friendships and relationships. It wasn’t always easy to go through some of the more painful or blocked experiences, but dipping a toe into realizing some of the good that came out of even those moments gave me a whole new appreciation and perspective. Having these lists really made me feel like I had a fuller picture of myself. It felt like a homecoming of sorts. A naming of all of the things that truly captured my me-ness. And it was such a relief. To know that I hadn’t disappeared, I was still there, I just had to draw it back out.
So how do you start?
Get out a sheet of paper, your journal, even your notes app (though I prefer the magic and muscle memory that comes from writing it out) and start answering these questions. Name the things that make you amazingly awesome and utterly you.
Name moments that were pivotal in your life
Make a list of all of the things you bring to the table
Name what makes you feel most like yourself
The next step is to take a small step of action. Plan time to do more of what you love, or would love to try. Pick something from your lists and see how you can incorporate it into your day.
Play that favorite song while you’re in the shower
Doodle or sketch while you are on a conference call
Read 1-2 pages of the book that’s been on your nightstand
Take a deep breath and imagine being on that fun trip during college
Look up a recipe to try and match your favorite dinner your grandma used to make
The key is to not let this feel like another thing piling onto your day. Take a look to see what you can layer into your day without overcomplicating it. Use the moments that you would be scrolling your feed, zoning out anyway. An extra minute to do something that starts to draw you back to yourself is not a minute wasted.
Try this for a couple weeks. Keep adding to your lists as more ideas pop up. Decide which thing you are going to layer in each day and honor that promise to yourself. Celebrate each time you find ways to have more of that person show up in your life. Take note of the small shifts you start to feel. Starting a more regular journal practice was helpful for processing my thoughts and feelings. They will be subtle at first, but I promise they will accumulate. Each little act of reintegrating yourself takes you one step closer to living a life that lights you up.
Grab a sheet of paper and start now. Put down your phone and start taking action toward remembering your magic. I promise you it’s worth it.
Journal Prompt
What do I want people to remember most about me?
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Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.