What-if is one of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves, especially when we start to get curious about our lives and wonder what kind of different paths it can take if we are willing to experiment with it a little, as I talked about here.

It’s what fuels our curiosity to move forward and can be just the right nudge to start taking action in seeking out a life that lights us up.

They don’t all need to be some grand, life transforming what-if.  In fact, the best place to start is with the what-ifs that impact your everyday moments.  The little dip of a toe into the water that sets off a ripple effect. They can be small questions like-

• What if I pay more attention to the things I tell myself?

• What if I made a small change to help my days go more smoothly?

• What if I worry less about what others say and know more about my own opinion of myself?

• What if I take care of myself a little bit more each day?

Simple questions that don’t get asked often enough, encouraging building personal self-awareness and the foundation to taking ownership of our lives and their trajectory.

How I put these into practice

Words matter, especially the ones you tell yourself, ultimately shaping your reality.  The thoughts you tell yourself run on a loop in your head, reinforcing themselves each time.  It’s called self-talk since it’s literally the voice in your head rattling off its thoughts with often no filter.  And boy, can it be a real jerk at times.  I now practice self-awareness to the words I say and think, acting as a gentle teacher to correct certain things that are an opinion or untrue.

The power of yet

When you think you can’t do something… you can’t do something YET.  Adding yet adds the power of possibility and gives your mind something to figure out.  Since it’s not a never, the mind is you can store that message away, to be on the look out for when the opportunity arises to make it reality.  The power of yet is something my kids have embraced and I love when I hear them speak of the future possibility of something happening when they use yet in all of the things they want to do.  I don’t know how to do that yet, but I’m practicing.  Learning this is a challenge right now and I haven’t mastered it yet.

My future self

Making small changes to my habits help me do things that my future self will be thankful for.  Gretchen Rubin talks about it in this podcast episode and the idea stuck with me ever since. 

• Filling my glass of water for the morning

• Thinking about what to make for dinner this week before going to the store

• Making my well visit appointment for next year when I go this year

All small things that I do for my future self, to take a small weight off my shoulders, that will help me be my best self later all add up. Other ideas include- setting your outfit or vitamins out the night before, buying in bulk or picking up a present when you see the perfect thing, putting something on your wishlist or on hold at the library.

Earmuffs

Just like we tell our kids to cover their ears when grown-ups maybe say a bad word or are discussing a tough subject, we can do that for our own mind to keep it from hearing things it doesn’t need to hear. 

Maybe don’t put literal earmuffs on, but one thing I’ve done is turn the news notifications off my phone (how to tip here). And edited the sources of news that show up when I do seek them out.  I did the same in my social feeds, keeping a couple well balanced ones for general updates. (See how your news sources rate for bias in this annual study) 

While I’m in my social feeds, I’m muting or un-following any account that isn’t making me feel good about myself or adds stress or anxiety when I consume their content.  Curate your content so it’s a source of good vibes only, as I wrote about here.

Maybe it’s your neighbor or relative that is just too much right now and triggers you to engage or have a well-formed (or not) one-sided argument with in your head.  Pay attention to your scroll and use your power to not let content into your feed that brings you down.  It doesn’t make you a bad person if you need a break from the plight of the refugees or fighting food deserts or the perils of climate change to afford yourself some inner peace and just set the phone down altogether.

Do a little bit

Each of the what-ifs encourage you to take care of yourself a little bit more each day.  They are small buoys, boosts and boundaries that may feel like drops in the bucket, but that’s what is going to fill you up. 

The big declarations of change may feel powerful to state, but they are scary AF to implement if you don’t have a strong base to help you keep your mind, body and spirit in the game with you.  When you know how to cheer yourself on, help your future self and eliminate sources of energy that aren’t lifting you up, those big what-ifs won’t seem quite so scary.

Know that you are not alone in heading off on this journey. You always have me cheering you on, sharing encouragement and tips, always eager to send a boost your way over on Instagram or in my newsletter.

With practice, these answers will become second nature.  And without a doubt, you will begin to notice.  The small shifts of adding yet to your vocabulary. The boundaries you put around what comes into your internal world. That sense of inner knowing will come forth over that jerk of a voice in your head, and you’ll know just how to lovingly put it in its place.

What is a what-if question you are asking yourself

that you can grow into a habit? 

If you want a guidebook to explore bigger and deeper what-if questions, and remember all of the beautiful magic within you, I invite you to start here.

Comment or send me an email or DM on Instagram. Wishing you courage to explore your what-ifs and change the trajectory of your journey!

*post may contain affiliate links

Stephanie Rose is a mom, wife, business owner and a forever student in finding ways to know herself better. She acts as guide for your own journey, sharing insights, tools and practices to help you remember your magic and live a life that lights you up. Sign up for her newsletter and check out her free resources.

Related entries